08/28/2010 4:46 PM

Still here. Still gonna be here a few more days at least. Still ready to go. Quite honestly, nothing has really changed at all, except for the fact that I’m losing out on a few more dollars each day, and one of my buds from Texas showed up last night. That was a bit of refreshing news for me. I was sitting down in the lobby, chatting with Joe on Yahoo, and watching an episode of NCIS on the computer (for the record, casttv.com is a new lifesaver to me) when I noticed three people walking through the big revolving doors and heading toward the front desk. I wasn’t quite sure at first because he had a hat on and wasn’t looking toward me, but I was pretty sure it was Scott. I just sat and waited for him to get through at the counter when he turned around and saw me. Definitely him. We sat and chatted for a while in the midst of him checking in, getting the work-related stuff taken care of, and trying to get his luggage up to his room. I really hope that having him… and his related optimism here will do me a lot of good. I’m usually a pretty optimistic person, but this situation is getting even me down. Not only that, it seems that every time I try to be positive that we’ll get out of here soon enough, someone is very quick to hit me back with at least two negatives for each comment. That’s getting very old.



I actually had a good conversation yesterday afternoon while trying to get out of my room for a while. I was sitting in the lobby again (I’d love to say that it’s a great place to hang out, but it has what I need) and a rare American came over and sat down in one of the chairs near me. He pulled out a book and started to read when he glanced over at me and commented on my shirt. It has a brewery on it and that sparked some conversation being that he was wearing a shirt from a brewery as well. He asked what I was doing here and I told him that I’m waiting to be sent to Afghanistan. He told me that he had been in Iraq and was heading home after a 5-month stint. He works for the DoJ and this was definitely not his first time overseas. He gave me some pointers, some fun things to know, some things to be aware of. He was actually a really nice guy and that conversation couldn’t really have come at a better time. It’s so helpful for me to be around normal, optimistic people.


Three times a week, the manifest is posted in the afternoons showing who will be flying the next morning. So far, that’s given us four times to be disappointed already. The next we’ll find out about is Monday. We were told last night that the reason for the holdup is that flights are not happening from Kandahar, where we’ll be initially taken, to the FOBs. They can’t keep stacking people up in Kandahar so that means that we’re being stuck here. Earlier this past week, we were told that there were over 350 people waiting to go. Scott said that when he was in Texas, he was told it was closer to 1000. It truly is insane to me how this could happen. It would stand to reason, at least in my mind, that if they didn’t have room for us, they wouldn’t have hired and/or processed us so quickly! But then I know that there is a reason for everything. Whatever it may be. If we’re not flying right now, we’re not meant to. I just wish that made sitting here a bit easier.


Technically speaking, there is a lot to do in Kuwait. They’ve got a gorgeous beach from what I hear. There are museums, theaters (including an IMAX), tons of shopping, an aquarium, a science center… all sorts of stuff. I just have nobody to do these things with and for some silly reason they don’t really want us out there in the big world traveling alone. I’m okay with that, but I’m also very ready to get out of here! Too bad we don’t have a bulletin board where we can post things here: “Fire dispatcher seeks companion/body guard for a taxi ride to war museum.” “Help break the monotony… let’s get a group to the aquarium. Will pay half the ride fare.” “Someone help get me out of my mind!!!” Perhaps I’ll have to offer that suggestion. I can think of worse ideas. Cabin fever can only last for so long before the mind starts to crumble. Anybody want to come visit for a few days? Just keep me company for a bit while I’m stuck here? Eh, I suppose not. The flight is awful anyway. It’s alright.


So that’s where we stand right now. I’m going to say goodbye for a bit since we need to go check in soon. Why we have to do that on weekends, when we’re not getting paid, I’ll never know. I hope you all are doing well and much love to you all.

08/27/2010 somewhere around 1am

We are officially one frustrated group. The entire lot of us. Those of us who arrived in Kuwait last week, those who have been here longer, even those who just got here yesterday. We have no idea when we’re going to be released into the big brown desert and all we can do is sit and wait. I don’t get bored easily. Years of being an only child have provided me with one awesome imagination and a flair for self-entertainment, but this is a totally different story. This is nothing short of maddening! I’m trying to make the best of it. We all are. It’s just very trying. We want to get out of bags, have a schedule, have something to do. Every day is the same ol’ thing. Same faces, same food, same smells, same everything!



So here’s the scoop as we know it. Yesterday, our little group was able to find out where we’re going. None of us are going to the same place. That’s a major bummer, but quite like going from Texas to Kuwait, I’m sure there will be more guys & gals that will make the time bearable. I was told I’m going to FOB Frontenac. That’s just a bit north of Kandahar, and from what I read on the internet, it’s a rather nice FOB. And for those that don’t know what the military version of FOB stands for and don’t want to look it up, it’s a forward operating base. There are so many of them all over the place. According to Wikipedia, there are over 90 in Afghanistan and Iraq alone, with a few more in the United States. So It’s nice to know that I’m currently assigned to a good one… BUT. Of course there’s a “but”. We have actually had a good laugh about some of the similarities of the contractor companies to the military over the past few days. The most glaring similarity is the unreliability of any and all information given to us at any point in time. Our recruiters must have been former military! Not one of us has had what has been promised, and likely with good reason. Who would sign up for this if we actually knew what it was like? Heh, okay, that might not be technically true. I’m not sure. Anyway, the “but”. So far, of the group of us who arrived in Kuwait together, one has already gotten to Afghanistan and he’s already being told that he’s not going where he was told he would. And another has already gotten word that she’ll not be going to where she was assigned. Needless to say, I’m not getting my hopes up at all. I’ll go where they tell me and enjoy every last moment of it, damn it! Now why can’t I do that now?


Apparently, the reason that we’re not going to Afghanistan yet is that there just isn’t room for us. We would have to go to Kandahar for a few days then be taken to our respective FOBs if that, indeed, is where we are to go. They don’t have anywhere to put us at any given point. A few people have already headed over. One construction worker, a manager or two, an HVAC worker, and an electrician amongst the others. They have a major need to be there. The construction worker needs to be building places for the rest of us to live. Somewhere to lay our head at night. The HVAC workers? Yeah, in the desert, they’re about the top of the list. AC is the best thing possible. Same with the electricians. They can’t have an AC without electricity. Some of the FOBS apparently haven’t even been built yet. Those will be the more miserable ones, but everything is relative. There will be perks and downfalls to each of them.


We got the news the other day that between here, Dubai, and India, there are over 350 people waiting to get sent over. That’s a lot of people who are earning paychecks for literally doing nothing all day but check in twice a day. And a lot of people who are not earning what we were told we would. Overtime may make that up in the long run, and one month isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but we came here to work! This is just crazy. I’ve got a major case of cabin fever. We all do. There are only so many times one can go to the mall in a week before even that gets boring. I guess the best thing is the ride to and from the mall. That’s more excitement than your average amusement park can provide and the ride is free. It’s still very hilarious to me how things work around here. The lack of rules and regard for people. It’s great to observe from a distance, not necessarily from the middle of the game.


Regardless of how frustrating this is, how much we all feel that our hands are completely tied, we did sign up for this, all for different reasons. We’ll make it. Some have gone home already. Some are considering the possibility of taking other jobs or going other places. Some have been sent home for not complying to the company’s standards and rules. Even if we can’t do our job, we still need to remember that this is a job and we are getting paid. There is still good to be found here, and I’m still with good people. I saw a few more from our original Texas group come in last night. It was good to see them. I just hope to see a few more. Word is that they’re holding people in Texas now. Wonder how long it’ll be until the Marriott is filled also! What a major backup this is. All I know for sure is that I do not look forward to spending my birthday here. It’s a definite possibility, but we’re all hoping and praying for the best.


Alright my readers, it’s quickly approaching 3 am and I think I should probably head to bed. I’ll write again tomorrow and add some pictures and hopefully a bit more optimism. It’s tough not to let this get to us but I’m still fighting it as much as I can. I hope you all are doing well in your respective time zones and many different environments. Heh, it’s moments like this that I realize how lucky I am to be doing this at a time when technology is so advanced and available for us. How isolated we would feel if that weren’t the case. Goodnight, my friends.

08/22/2010 9:50

Not your everyday water there... but it is here.

Good morning all. I’ve been spending a bit of time on Facebook and when I first logged on, I thought about my friends and what you all are doing at this point. It’s about 1150 at home so most of you are either asleep or will likely be soon. This time difference is rather tough to get used to, but I’m sure we’ll all eventually get there.

I’m still in Kuwait. We arrived late Friday night/early Saturday and have been doing our best to try to adjust to the time change. It’s not easy but we’re all starting to make it. This is the first morning that we haven’t checked in then gone right back to bed until 3 in the afternoon or so. That’s a good start.

Pano of the view from my room.  Not too shabby, huh?

Kuwait is beautiful to me. I’ve hear a lot of grumbling from some other people, but I don’t know what the use in complaining about things is so I just look for the beauty.

More of the view from the room

Rooms and the elevators on one side of the lobby.

Hotel lobby. Very gorgeous.

Our hotel room is on the 7th floor and provides quite a nice view of a Mosque, a few streets, and a lot of buildings. It’s very toasty during the days (okay, it’s very toasty at night too…) and much of the hustle & bustle is confined to cars. We’re right in the middle of Ramadan right now so the daily workings are a little bit different from normal. Stores don’t open until around 8pm. That’s actually perfect for us since it appeals to our schedule a little bit more, but it’s tough to adjust to the rules we have to follow right now. We can’t drink, eat, or chew anything in public (basically anywhere outside of our rooms) until around 6:30 pm. Women can’t wear shorts, any public displays of affection are strictly forbidden, and there are a few other things to conform to. One of the guys was reprimanded for chewing on a toothpick during day hours. You don’t often think of those things, but we’ll get accustomed to it soon enough.

The pic of the restaurant from outside was a bit blurry,
but this one worked fine.

Our days are boring by many standards. There isn’t much to do other than sit in the rooms and wait. We have to check in twice a day just for accountability. 7:45 and 5:45. We’ve gone to two malls and looked around a bit. Last night, we wanted some good old fashioned American food so we ventured to the “big mall” and had Chili’s. That mall just happens to house 6 different Starbucks shops! Needless to say, it’s rather large. There is an Ikea, Sephora, American Eagle… quite a few familiar shops. That was pretty funny to see for most of us. The traffic amazed me last night, both going to and coming back from the mall. I read last night that the traffic during Ramadan is insane, and apparently the last week of Ramadan is even worse than what we’re seeing now! It’s hilarious to us to see the way they drive here.

At home, we are governed by so many rules on a daily basis—“Don’t run”, “Drive between the lanes”, “No smoking”, “Wait your turn”—but the rules here are much different. Kids run. There are no lanes, no normal standards like we know, more honking than you’ll hear Downtown Anywhere. There are only a few places I’ve seen where people aren’t smoking. If you try to wait your turn, you’ll never eat! If I saw a broken sidewalk at home, I’d know that the city would be by in a matter of days to smooth it out for fear of being sued. Here, you’d be hard pressed to find a stretch of sidewalk that isn’t broken. Crossing the street is pretty eventful. It actually reminds me of those great signs we used to see along the I-5 through Pendleton where the family is running across the road, holding the little girl in the back with her braids and feet trailing behind her… At least that’s the image I have in my mind each time.

I got suckered into singing Karaoke with one of my buds here. It was awful, yet hilarious. These little funny memories will last forever. The friendships I’m making now will last as well. One of the guys in our group has a Snoopy who is getting his picture taken everywhere we go. It’s so much fun to see the places he’s gone. Had one taken outside of Ikea, one in Chili’s, a few down in the lobby (one on top of a Cannon, because there really is no better place to take a picture of Snoopy, right?). He’s got all of his friends back home excited to see where Snoopy goes next. It’s very cute.

Snoopy in front of some lanterns

I’ve gone down to the Jacuzzi for the past couple of nights with Tim, the guy who is doing the Snoopy pics. We’ll sit there for at least an hour and watch the show at the pool. Since Muslims aren’t allowed to drink during Ramadan, the pool is closed until the ban is lifted each day, but at that point, it gets insane! It’s so busy around there and so much fun to watch. I’ve been amazed at how little the kids mind the adults. There are lifeguards at the pool who spend so much time blowing their whistles only to be ignored, and the really ironic part of the whole show is the parents who are screaming at their kids during a time when they don’t get angry. Of course that probably doesn’t count. These are kids after all and every good parent knows that children inspire anger in ways that no rules govern.  Or was that just me?  :)

Because everyone needs a two-story McDonald's...

Things start to slow down around midnight. That’s when the kids have to be out of the pool, most of the big groups of families head home, and close to the point when a lot of the shops close. The hotel restaurants are currently open until 2am because they are eating so late in order to better tolerate the fast the next day. I think it would be rough to fast every day for 30 days, but their mindset behind it is admirable. It’s a time to deprive oneself in order to focus on what is important. Something I read last night likened it to New Year’s resolutions. I didn’t know that, but I get it. We have our once a year when we often resolve to be better people, to take better care of ourselves, and to try to make the world a better place. They spend a month figuring these things out and try to apply it to everyday life. Yet another way that we humans are all so similar in little, but very significant ways.

Oh, so one of the most amazing things I’ve seen thus far is the C-130 flying overhead when we were in the Jacuzzi. I know those bad boys are large. I’ve seen them up close and personal. They are, in fact, my third favorite plane thus far. I have never been under one as it flew over with what felt like a few feet of headspace. Granted, it did clear the top of our 9-story hotel, and I was outside in the Jacuzzi on the first floor, so I know that I had more than a few feet of headspace, but it felt a lot closer than that. I was almost stupefied by it. Loud, beautiful, and powerful. I’m really hoping to be able to get a picture of that view before we take off.

The other thing that I really enjoy here is the prayer that is played over the PA system here. It is hauntingly beautiful. I guess the guys on the other side of the hotel are being woken up by it during the night, but from our side, it is simply gorgeous. I heard it once when we were walking to the mall, and it really is neat to hear. I’ll miss that when we leave. I guess it’s about as comforting as hearing a grandfather clock in the middle of the night. They are things that you start to take for granted if you’re not careful.

My very adorable roommate

Alright my friends, my roommate is sleeping and I think I’m going to look into the possibility of the same thing. Hopefully this one will be just a nap and I’ll be able to stay awake for the rest of the day. Anything to help me go to sleep before 4 am would be great. There are a lot of sickies running around here and I don’t want to be one of them so keeping my sleep reserves up is probably a good start.

I’ll talk to you soon.

My very adorable roommate's very adorable roommate.

Or so I think... 

08/19/2010 5 or 6 pm, EST.

Almost over the Atlantic. Loved the flight info!

I am currently over the Atlantic Ocean.  I'd never seen it before today, at least not live & in person, and even though I was about 33,000' up in the air, it still looked like ocean.  Boy will I miss that vast expanse of sea!

Dropped more as the night wore on. The coldest I saw was -64º!

So, when I said yesterday that I'd find out in a couple hours if I'd be leaving or not, I found out I was.  I was shocked!  Since there were so many people still waiting from the last few weeks, I thought for sure that I'd be in that boat as well.  I didn't even imagine that any of us would be heading over, let alone that I would!  But here I am, taking a journey that makes me giggle and cry at the same time.  Crazy doesn't even cut it. 

Today, quite like the past few weeks, has been a whirlwind of mad & crazy emotion.  It started out at 4:45 this morning.  I didn't have to be up until 6:25 or so, but there was no telling my over-stressed brain to go back to sleep.  I finally got up around 5.  Got online & started chatting with my bud who is currently in Kandahar.  He was ending his day just as I was starting mine.  I got ready & headed downstairs to roll call... only to find that it went 30 minutes earlier than I thought.  That was my first & only "oops" of the trip.  At least so far.  Wasn't too big a deal though.  We checked in (and by we, I'm including the other guy who thought it was 7:30, who, incidentally, is sitting right next to me on the airplane).  That was when the whirlwind really began.  I had to say goodbye to the two very dear friends that I made who went home today, and I didn't even have a chance for an "I'll see you soon" to the other.  That was really a bummer!  But part of any great adventure is a few ups & downs.  Okay, a lot of ups & downs. 

I got packed up, talked to Joe, Jill, & my mom for a bit, then headed downstairs.  There were a few of us all waiting for the shuttle service the Marriott provides.  After the small talk, I finally asked if there was anyone else who was going overseas for the first time EVER.  All shook their heads except for one who shyly raised his hand.  I asked him if he had as many emotions and as much chaos coursing through him as I did & he nodded.  I haven't seen him since that point.  My guess is that he's heading out at a different time than the rest of us.  So all that to say that I'm travelling with a great group of guys & one gal, who have all done this before.  That means when I cried while saying goodbye to Joe, I felt a lot better to see that they were all doing the same with their significant others. 

Just wingin' it. 

This is so not easy!  Some things about it are-- technically speaking, I'm getting a very well-paid vacation and an opportunity to see the other side of the world.  The other parts?  Oh, not so much.  Yes, the free drinks and movies on the plane (they even have an eposide of The Golden Girls and Glee!!!), the food, the adventure, that's all awesome.  But there is such a huge unknown that I don't even know which speculations & stories to believe.  But that's what I signed up for.  Unknowns.  A new path around every corner.  And that, so far, has been great.  Everything before I get to that path is scary, but the moment I can see even 1/4 of a mile in front of me, I know that all is well.  And right now, I can only see 1/4, but that 1/4 seems exciting. 

08/18/2010

I’m not going to be writing every day, I’m sure, but as long as I need to get stuff out of my mind, I’m probably going to use this as the venue for it.

My view from the hotel of the Texas Motor Speedway

In the time I’ve been here at the Marriott, I have had three very intense days and have gotten to know three people very well. Two of them are males, one female. They’ve all been overseas before, all have held contract jobs, none have been to Afghanistan, and I’ve heard all of their stories about why they’re going. The other female is in a world of financial hurt. When we first started chatting, she told me that her biggest worry was the money. She has debt and the main reason she’s going this time is to get out of that. One of the guys wants to make a better life for his soon-to-be wife. He and I sat for about two hours one night at dinner and talked about our significant others. Anybody within earshot would have thought it was disgusting. Thankfully, the nearest tables were unoccupied. The other guy is like a male version of me. He’s a lot of fun to chat with, and our daily abuse has been entertaining for the others around us. The four of us have had a few meals together, all had to be retested for our blood pressure together and ended up being in the same group because of our last names. Though it’s only been three days, I’ve gotten to really like them. At lunch, when I found out the first two I talked about were going home, I was very sad… both for my reasons and for theirs. They need the money so desperately. Both have been given the opportunity to get clearance from their doctors and try again within the next few days. It sounds like both are going to try. But this whole time, I’ve been thinking about how awesome it would be to see them over there. It’s not guaranteed that we’d even be working on the same Base, but we could totally keep in touch with each other and provide as much support for the others as we could manage while we’re all going through the same thing.

I told the female today how sad I was that she was leaving and how much I was looking forward to going through the whole process with her. She felt the same way. She kept telling me that she knows that there’s a reason that she’s not being sent over there right now. She wants to try again but she’s not going to go crazy over it. She’s had quite a few tours in so many places but it sounds like she needs this one more than any others.

At this exact moment in time, I have no idea if I’m going or not. I don’t know if all of my medical results are back. I don’t know if the background has been done. I don’t know much of anything. Unless I hear in the next few hours that I’m going home, I’ll be starting my malaria pills tonight. And though I still have one great friend to harass while I’m there, if I go, it’ll be without two other great friends. I’m sure I’ll make more when I’m there, but when you get to start the whole process and train together, you get to know each other in a different way than just arriving at work and trying to blend in to what’s already there.

The younger of the two guys is going over there to be a firefighter. Again, no guarantee, but there’s a good chance that I’ll be his dispatcher. It’s nice to already know someone that’s going to be on the other side of the radio.

I might head downstairs in two hours and find out that I’m going to the other side of the world tomorrow. I might be stuck here for two weeks before I can head over. It might even be a month. There are people wandering around this Marriott who have been in that boat. I’m going to be working in Afghanistan for a year. Not that I really want to rush time, but I do look forward to getting home at the end of that year. It would be great to get it started. I’m sure the rest of those people feel the same way. Apparently it depends on a lot of factors—whether they can get a flight, if there are living accommodations for them, if the job position is open… all sorts of stuff is coming in to play that none of us really anticipated. But that’s okay. It really is part of what makes this such a big adventure. The speculations are great. It seems that there really is a good chance that I’ll be sleeping in a tent for a while, especially if we end up at a Base that isn’t even built yet. And that is very possible. It’ll be funny, really. I can take pictures of my tent and know that half of you will laugh your tails off, pointing, snickering, and saying “I told you so”, and the other half will feel sorry for me. No need for that though. I signed up for this. Willingly!

On the other hand, if I’m told tonight that I’m going home, so be it. I was talking to a guy last night who currently lives in Nevada. He’s a father of 7 (!!!) and wants to do at least one year in order to get ahead of the game for the family. He’s a young guy, very optimistic, very nice to talk with. We were speculating about the possibility of getting sent home and I told him that even if that happens, I’m so proud of myself for getting to this point. I never thought I would do so, and I have. Yes, I’d LOVE to be able to say that I did a year overseas in a war zone (and there is no shortage of people around here who remind us of that on an hourly basis), but even getting to this point, I’ve learned so much about myself. So much more than most people get to. That’s cool. I’m so thankful for this whole opportunity. Already some great friendships, a nice little vacation (in spite of the paperwork, hoop jumping, and shots), a lot of new knowledge, and some heat, rain, and thunder to bring it all together. This has already been a rough ride, but it’s been fun. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

08/17/2010 Sometime in the evening

I can safely say that I’ve never had a day quite like this one in my entire life. It started out pretty inconspicuously. I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off, which always sets me in a better mood than the alarm does, got ready, headed downstairs for breakfast with some friends, then went into the training. I’m no stranger to medical stuff. I’ve always been intrigued by it and always hope to learn more. I want to understand it all. The fact that we were going to be learning about first aid was great to me. Bring it on. When I walked into the room, I knew that we’d be doing IEDs, First Aid 1 and 2, and having a 2-minute drill. I’ve never done a 2-minute drill before. Didn’t know what to expect but I’m really up for anything here. That’s part of the challenge of what I’m doing. Part of what makes it so much fun. And so scary.

The instructors made some very good points. They made us feel very stupid without being rude about it. More like they opened our eyes to how safe we allow ourselves to feel. Hopefully we don’t need to be quite as paranoid while at the Marriott, but it’ll be good knowledge to have on our side in Afghanistan, for sure. They brought out some IEDs for us to see, talked about different types, the methods used for hiding them, then showed videos of detonations, after-effects, some things that really threw me into the reality of what I’m about to do. My mind was starting to spin around that point.

Shortly after that, we got to the first aid training. Bullet wounds, sucking chest wounds, amputations (that’s the really “big one for this war”), how to recognize, how to treat others and ourselves, all the things we need to have in our first aid packs, the importance of keeping these things on us at all times… the list goes on and on. Truly great information and things that I hope are stored in my mind permanently. Only the weird thing to me was how many of the repeat travelers were agreeing so wholeheartedly with all of this information like they’ve seen it first-hand. You know why that is? They have. The food service workers, the HVAC workers, the construction teams, the electricians, the firefighters, the logistics personnel… they’ve seen it. That means that the chance that I’ll see it is beyond great. Am I ready for that? Am I really going to head into a territory where this is common?

A few times today I wanted to just zone out and think but I was too focused on the information being taught to us. Not enough time to really think. Thankfully. Then we went into the other room to wait. The instructors needed to set up the room for the drill. None of us knew what to expect. When we got into the room in our little group of 6, we entered to darkness, the sounds of gunfire, strobe lights, and people screaming and crying. We did what we needed to do for two minutes then the lights came back on and we were evaluated. When they asked what we were feeling through the drill, I only heard one person admit to the adrenaline spiking but I know… I definitely know… that he wasn’t the only one.

As they were teaching us how to apply tourniquets to ourselves, I actually had a brief moment where I just stepped outside of my mind really quickly and had to laugh. Never did I think I’d be getting a class on that. Others, sure. Me, not so much. Then I looked around the room at the majority of the class who is going on their second, fifth, tenth tour, and was comforted to see that they all have all of their original limbs. Good news, right?

I’m excited about this. I’m sure there will be much good about it and plenty of bad, but I’m definitely excited. So… what happens next?

07/24/2010 10:55 PM

I have been blown away over this past week or so at how insanely blessed I am.  I am fully aware that there is still a possibility that I won't be able to go to Afghanistan, whether because of health issues, money issues, a passport issue, or whatever, but even if that happens and I'm left without a home and a job, I will still be so thankful for this week.  Even through the craziness and insanity, there have been so many wonders.  I know I'm one of a lucky few. 
I went to a party tonight.  In fact, I just recently got back from it.  Joe & I intended to only stay for a short while.  That didn't quite materialize.  Even when we were trying to leave, it didn't work.  More on that in a moment.  At one point, a few of my friends went inside.  Joe left to get a couple more drinks, and I was left alone by the fire.  Now honestly, I am totally okay with being alone.  In teh big picture, it appeals to my love of observation.  It also allows me time to think instead of talking.  It also usually affords me the opportunity to meet people who inevitably see a "lonely gal" and come over to talk.  It's a win all the way around.  But this time, I sat (very comfortably I might add, thanks to Ken & Irene and their comfy chairs) and watched my friends inside dancing like they were walking on hot coals.  I laughed until I had tears in my eyes then I realized how much I would miss these moments and those tears of laughter turned into tears of thankfulness.  How many people are lucky enough ever to actually realize how lucky they are before it's too late?  See, I am blessed! 
I honestly have some of the best friends in the whole world.  They care so much for me and I am so thankful for that.  They make me laugh, they make my heart sing, they always have my back, and they support me even when I think it's a good idea to move to the other side of the world for a year.  They hug me when I need a hug, tell me a joke when I need a laugh, and give me a kick in the butt when I'm slacking.  They truly are the greatest. 
As I was leaving the party tonight, I got the laugh and the memory I needed that would last me a year.  One of the dolls I have the pleasure of working with wanted to sing a Karaoke song.  He wanted one of our other work buds to join but he was less than willing.  Joe told Brian that if he could convince Joey to sing, Joe would be the third for a trio.  Didn't look too promising.  As we were saying our goodbyes, Brian begged us to stay while he sang for us.  Joe joined him and somehow, I got suckered into being the third.  Wow was it hysterical!  Joey finally came in to join so it was a quartet of chaos... or a cacophony.  Not quite sure which is the better term.  My stomach ached from laughing so hard.  I could hardly breathe!  Definitely couldn't sing...  I'll laugh at that for years to come, I'm sure.  Moments like that aren't always easy to come by but when they do, it's the best.
Okay, time to get some sleep and continue the madness tomorrow.  Boy have these been some trying days!

07/17/1020 (barely) 12:31 AM

I am currently one veritable basket-case.  There is no question about that.  I'm still pulling through in my usual fashion, but I'm a major mess.  In the course of only 12 little hours, I've gone from complete elation to crying in front of my boss without embarassment or apology, to utter strength and determination to heart-wrenching sadness & sorrow, to pride, and in the middle of that, everything in between.  How can one person feel so many things in such a short amount of time?  Easily.  Just give up everything comfortable and good in your life and move across the world for a year.  It's the simple plan.  All it takes is a truck-load of paperwork and a bit of determination. 
Over the past week or so, I've had a lot of people ask me why I'm going to Afghanistan.  There are a lot of reasons.  Surprisingly, money isn't even one of the first five.  The more I think about my reasons for going, the lower money falls on my list.  Isn't that odd?  Sure, it will be very nice to earn double what I make now for one year, but that wasn't my primary motivation.  I simply wanted to shake things up for me a little bit.  Oh and have I!!!  I've shaken so hard I can't find up & down!  Right now, I feel like this is nothing more than sheer insanity.  The amount of things I have to accomplish in 15 days is more than I usually do in 3 months.  But it truly feels like it is well worth it.  Which leads me to my primary reason for wanting to go.  The shaking things up part was why I decided to apply.  The reason I truly want to go is because I have worked with some amazing men and women over the past few years who have gone to Iraq, Afghanistan, and many other places that are so far from home.  I've been a shoulder for them to cry on ... a willing hug, and a pat on the back, but I truly have no idea what it's like.  The longest I've been "away from home" was a two-week jaunt to Hawaii with my grandma and cousins.  Hardly comparable to a year in what many describe as a living hell.  So now I get to experience a more subdued version of that.  I get to give up my comfy queen-sized bed and ocean-cooled air for the desert.  I get to take 5 changes of clothes to get me through a year.  I get to eat what they feed me.  I get to go where I'm told to go and when.  It's still a far cry from what our studs in cammies go through-- I certainly won't be seeing the combat or the traumas of war the way they do, but I will get to experience the pain of saying goodbye to my loved ones for what is truly a dang long time.  I will come home with a new appreciation for my friends and family, for the ocean air.  My bed will feel better, my cat's fur will feel softer, my homemade food will taste better, and I will be a better person for getting to experience that.  I will appreciate every tiny little daily blessing more than I ever thought I could.  For this, I am truly thankful.