Walk a Mile in their Shoes: Immigrants & Refugees Episode

You are a 5th grade student.  You were born in the United States.  Your parents were not.  New laws are enacted that will cause your parents to be deported.  But not you.  How does that make you feel?

You fall in love with a person from another country.  He or she comes here legally.  You enjoy the life you had planned.  But suddenly a huge push for "English Only" occupants is brewing.  How does that make you feel?  What if he or she gets deported?  Even without the threat of deportation, just knowing that the majority is against your love, making him or her feel awful.  Alone.  Unwelcome.  Who wants that?

You live in a country where your lives are in daily threat.  You take your children and come to the US.  You do so legally.  But you have three children and you cannot get a job that pays enough to keep them fed and housed.  In fact, you cannot get enough jobs that cover basic expenses.  Yet even though you came here legally, and even though you have legal jobs, you cannot apply for government subsidization for at least 5 years... if not more.  How do you plan to get through these years?

Immigrants.  They come from everywhere.  They look like us or they look different.  They talk different.  They may have different mores and customs.  Yet there's a funny thing about them-- they are still people.  And they came here in hopes of improving their situation.  The land of the free, the home of the brave.  The place for your poor, hungry, and, well, you know:
"From her beacon-hand glows the world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command the air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame" (Lazarus, n.d.).  And of course, the great one: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.  Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" (Lazarus, n.d.).  Does that not sound inviting?  I mean really inviting?  Like, to all?  So what went wrong?

I am trying to learn to do handstands.  I'm still in the phase where I need the wall, so I use my hallway since there is a free & clear space.  While I'm chilling upside down, I look at my bookshelves and admire all of those yummy books I want to read.  There was one that kept calling me; "What is the What."  I first heard about it years ago with my old book club.  We never read it together but it was definitely discussed and I went ahead and purchased it.  I finally (FINALLY!!!) got around to reading it (oh, only around 7 or 8 years later...) and though it took me a while to get through, I was blown away at how much emotion that stirred in me.  Refugees.  It's like people think they want to run from their land and to leave everything behind.  It's like we expect them to just be able to "fix" their situations and deal with it on their own.  This is sheer terror that causes so many of them to flee.  Not terror as in riding a freaky roller coaster, terror as in seeing their families and friends burned, tortured, beaten, shot, beheaded, etc. right next to them.  I'd run too!  Refugee.  What does that even mean, exactly?  According to Oxford Dictionaries, it's "a person who has been forced to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster" (Refugee, n.d.).  Forced to leave.  Do they have a few months to get their affairs in order before taking off, or time to say goodbye to loved ones, a forwarding address to give them in hopes of reconnecting in a few months?  No, not usually.  They run in the middle of the night.  The kids, if they are lucky, can take a comforting stuffed animal or blanket.  Others aren't even "lucky" enough to be able to take a change of clothes.  Or food.  Or pictures like those that so many of us hold dear.  Imagine just suddenly having to get up, right now, running out your door, and never coming back.  Imagine losing everything that you have ever worked to acquire without any hope of seeing it again.  I can't do it.  I honestly cannot imagine what it must be like. I've read books about it, seen the news clips, read articles on the 'net and in the paper, but I cannot wrap my head around getting up, running away from here for fear of my life, and never coming back. 

I got to go on a field trip the other day to the Japanese American Museum.  With all of the talk about the concentration camps that the Nazis were running, it seems like the "camps" here in the US are often overlooked.  The Japanese, whether US citizens or not, were rounded up and sent to these camps for their safety.  "Their" safety.  At least that's what they were told.  What were they being kept safe from?  The docent of my little group the other day was born in one of these camps.  She had first-hand knowledge of the living conditions, the weirdness of it all, and the sacrifices that were made during that time.  She explained what her family experienced, what she saw first-hand, and gave these stories a very personal feel.  Personal because she is a real person.  What are we learning from history?  Anything at all, or are we trying to do the same things over and over again in hopes that the results will be different?  I don't get it.  Read "What is the What" if you want to experience life in a whole new way.  After you're done, let's try to come up with the answers. 


References
Lazarus, E. (n.d.). The new colossus.  Retrieved from http://www.libertystatepark.com/emma.htm
Refugee [Def. 1]. (n.d.). Oxford Learner's Dictionaries, retrieved December 03, 2016 from http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/refugee

Items 1 and 2

My big plan was to have a list of almost 40 items that I'd work on this year.  I can't come up with that many.  I got close, and I guess if I specify all of the books I want to read, that'll send it over the top, but I'm putting "read a bunch of books" into one slot.  It's been almost 2 months since I set out to be doing these specific things and I'm happy to report that I've been making some progress. 
My first project was working on learning to knit.  It's not spectacular but I'm starting to get it.  My grandma left a LOT of yarn and knitting/crocheting tools at her old house when she moved and I was able to get quite a bit of it.  I'm going to have a blast using her things, whether it's just for learning or (eventually...) for actually making legit, useable projects.  I have a feeling that it's going to be a long road to a legit project, but I'm having fun in the process. 

Beginning stages above, current stages below. 

I'm playing around with it, not aiming for perfection.  I'd say that's not too terribly bad for someone who has never done this before! 

I can't exactly call this goal completed because there's much more to learn but I'm still going to count it as #1. 

Second on the list is a book.  Mom & Me & Mom, by Maya Angelou.  That woman has such a beautiful style of writing that really works for my brain.  Not that she's writing for my brain, but the way my brain works and her writing style are a perfect combo.  So this was recommended in a list of "books to read before turning 40" type of list.  I chose around 20 or so... maybe it was closer to 30, I'm not sure, but it just so happened that I was subbing in one of my favorite places the other day and the kiddos had been reading an excerpt from this so I decided it would be my first to get to from that list.  A talking point with the kids I suppose.  Hmm.  What to say about this book.  Insightful, interesting, quick, liked it for sure, not positive that it would need to be a MUST read for me.  I am glad that I did, but I don't feel like it's changed my life or that it has any impact on my upcoming last year of 30s.  But it was really good and really readable and a great exploration of those... hmm, complicated mother-daughter relationships.  Only I can safely say that Ms. Angelou's version of that relationship is hugely different from mine.  Or anybody I know, for that matter. 

Next up will be some more books, more crafting of sorts, and likely some of grammy's recipes.  I'm hoping to do at least 10 of her spectacular items but I can only think of around 7 that I really want to try to recreate.  Lemon bars, chocolate cake with this amazing white icing, sticky buns (shoosh, you...), chicken & dumplin's, potato chip cookies, wine jelly, and a couple more.  At least.  Oh, and I'm thinking that I really need to go ahead and make her version of lemonade, even though there are about three pounds of sugar per glass.  It was well worth it! 

I'll be back soon with the next round. 

Like sands through the hourglass

Many things have changed in my life over these past few years since I've written here.  Very many things.  I've thought about restarting the blog a time or two, always had plenty of thoughts to write about, but never got much farther than writing a draft, getting distracted, and never posting anything.  Even with those drafts, I kept thinking that the blog title, Living the Other Side of the World, still fit.  If I wasn't in Afg, then I was trying to work on a relationship where we were on opposite sides of the world.  That relationship is no longer, but what about the side that I'm trying to live now?  It's so vastly different from what I thought it would be in my younger years that it still is the "other side of the world" in a way.  Truthfully, I can't even really define how it's different, I only know that it is.  This is now how I pictured my life when I was 10.  I'm not even sure if I comprehended this point when I was 10.  So many children I know have a clear direction of where they want their lives to end up.  Not to say that direction will always pan out, and even having direction might be a downfall for those kiddos who can't handle a change of plans well, but they have an idea.  I didn't.  I still don't.  Oh, I have ideas.  Visions.  Plans.  But how?  When?

Sounds like an invite to do some exploration.

My grandma died a few weeks ago.  It feels like only a couple of days.  It was really quick and sudden and unexpected.  Sure, she was almost 93.  Some consider that to be officially old.  All I know is that one day she and I were still discussing where we'd be celebrating our birthday dinner and the next day she was gone.  The moment I heard that she died, I decided that I didn't want to celebrate my birthday this year.  It wasn't right without her.  For the past month or so I've been thinking about the fact that this is my last year of my 30s.  I wanted to have a list of some things that I really wanted to get done before I hit 40.  I'll admit, there is not one single thing on this list that I can't do in my 40s, but the point is to be more aware of the passing (ridiculously quick passing, mind you) of time and the fact that our days are numbered.  I've always been painfully aware of how fleeting life is and I really want to ensure that I'm able to get all out of it that I can while I can.  I decided that I wanted to have 39 or 40 items on this list and that I want to aim to dedicate them to my grandma's memory and her beautiful life. 

Oh my gosh she is so adorable.  And thank you, Munch, for capturing her so perfectly in this pic. 

Anyway, as I was starting to draw up this list, I decided two more things.  I would blog about them and document every step of the process, and I would throw one dang cool party for myself and for my friends and family when I turn 40.  Life is going by too quickly, but that doesn't mean that we can't take advantage of every little moment.  I try to do that.  Now I want to have some bigger, more intentional moments. 

Some of these items on the list are very grandma-specific, such as learning to knit or crochet and tackling some of her recipes. Others are things that I've been putting off for years like taking surf lessons and white-water rafting.   There are a few that are age-specific.  I need to get a retirement account going that is not dependent on a place of employment.  Why have I not done that?  I guess I can be thankful that I have contributed something to my future, but how about getting it together all by myself, huh?  I also want to read some of those "These books will change your life" books.  A few of the items are just things that have been chilling on my life list for a while and I'm using this as a reason to get crackin' on that list.  As I mentioned before, these can still be done in my 40s, as one of my dear friends pointed out to me yesterday, but if I keep saying that I'll do them next year then I'll never do them! 

While drawing up my little list, I consulted a few websites with suggestions of things to do before turning 40.  I was thrilled to see that I have already done many of their recommendations.  I can safely say that I feel like I have had a rich and fulfilling life.  I've done skydiving, travelled abroad, learned about different cultures, spoken in front of audiences, gone to a religious service for something outside of my religion, and generally stepped outside of my comfort zone in many ways.  I am so grateful for all of my opportunities and experiences.  Now it's just a matter of being aware of these years as they pass and not letting any desires go unanswered. 

My list is at 19 right now.  Any suggestions for a few more important activities?