06/11/2012 0835

I was supposed to arrive at KAF today.  Well, not during the 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th changes to the plans, but according to plan 1 and apparently plan 5 (or is it 15?) I was supposed to arrive today.  But instead I have been here for, goodness, around 26 hours or so.  First, I thought I was heading out just like every other trip so far.  I fly out of Dwyer the day before I leave for R&R.  Stay one night in KAF, on to Dubai early the next morning. Then they were starting to send people two days ahead because of weather.  Then I had to get my physical.  S did too.  Then I got mine at Dwyer but he didn’t.  Then the firefighters were going to get theirs in Dubai on the way back in from R&R.  Then back to KAF.  Then I was still going to go two days early.  Then not, because my roomie got sent home for medical reasons so we had a dispatcher shortage.  Then then then then then.  So I thought I was going to be leaving the day after my honey and the other two guys going out for training.  I was a little bummed, but it’s not the end of the world.  Then a measly 10 hours before “they” were going to meet in the morning to leave, “they” became “we” and “I” still needed to pack.  And finish the rest of my shift.  And eat dinner.  And go for coffee.  I thank God with every fiber of my being that I am such a list maker and a strangely organized person.  Not only was I able to pack and not forget anything, I also got about 4 whole hours of sleep! 

We were on our way early.  Brutally early.  S ran over to Green Beans and got coffee for all of us.  I thank God with every fiber of my being for him too.  Not just because of the coffee, but that was a nice perk.  No pun intended. 

The Huey ride was fun.  We fire guys were separated from everyone else.  Methinks it’s because we don’t always play nice with others.  Or around others for that matter.  At any rate, it was really cool.  I got to take a lot of pics but my battery was running low so I tried to limit it.  That was probably the nicest flight crew I’ve ever had.  One of them was writing things to point out to us—Helmand River, Red desert, poppy trucks, etc.  It was nice of him. 

Half sunny, half shady me. 

The river

For the first time on my R&R journeys, I am staying in the dreaded South Park.  Apparently it is vastly different from what it used to be, but it’s still a far cry from paradise.  40 bunk beds in a tent.  I think I was lucky to get a sleeping bag-- they don’t always have them.  I’m going to pitch a fit if someone tries to offer me chicken one more time.  I’ve resorted to only using the port-o-potty because the normal bathroom’s door is messed up and the metal grinding is just too much.  But it is a lot better than the stories I’ve heard.  And even still, I would rather plunk down $200 just for privacy, quiet, a non-shared shower, and temperature settings that I can control.  Plus no 0200 wakeup call.  That’s going to suck.  And that’s about as eloquent as I plan to get for now, so I’m going to head to the DFAC to wait for my honey and the good news that his health is just fine.  Positivity is best :)  

03/19/2012 1213 hours

I have spent the past 18.5 months creating an official list of the Top 10 worst things about living in Afghanistan. After much deliberation and many sleepless nights refining these issues, I present to you the list: 


1. Spring sand storms
2. Summer sand storms
3. Fall sand storms
4. Winter sand storms
5. Morning sand storms
6. Mid-day sand storms
7. Afternoon sand storms
8. Evening sand storms
9. Night-time sand storms 
10. No booze  


It's almost as if there is a theme...  
Afghanistan has what is known as the 120 days of wind.  That happens during the summer months.  And it provides a lot of sand.  Not fun.  In fact, when I first arrived here, we were still pretty well in the middle of it.  What we have had going since yesterday, however, brings totally new meaning to a sand storm.  And I thought yesterday was bad.  See, the thing about sand storms is that, well, sand gets everywhere and affects everything.  And that's with a normal one.  This is a whole new beast.  It actually kept me awake much of the night last night.  Not cool.  Yeah, and speaking of not cool, just a couple of days ago it was 102º.  It was hot.  I made iced tea since it's "that time of year."  Today we're at 53º (um, hot chocolate anyone?) and that's not including the wind chill factor which I think is pretty significant.  Feels like this wind is straight from Russia!  Of course it has been coming from literally every direction imaginable so perhaps Russia did send some of this.  How is that even possible?  Seriously!  How does wind come from every direction?  I was out brushing my teeth one day a couple of months ago and noticed 4 different flags around this area, all of which were blowing different directions.  Oh this is such a strange country.  
So I've got to tell you about some of the funny stuff that comes with these sand storms.  Things that you probably don't have to think about too much.  First off is the walk to and from the DFAC.  I almost got launched many feet ahead of myself on the way there and felt like I was struggling through mud with a baby elephant attached to my waist on the way back.  My gosh, I am a solid, well-grounded person.  I have weight to me.  Someone smaller might have easily got taken away by this!  Inside the DFAC isn't much better either.  Granted, you can't feel the wind in there, but it is a tent that is blowing wildly, not to mention the fact that sand gets in every time a door is opened.  They had all the food covered today.  That doesn't happen very often.  Showers.  Seriously.  What is the point?  If you're not losing your clothes that you're carrying, or your towel, you're lucky.  That wind just has a knack for sneaking up on you and grabbing whatever you don't have a death grip on.  I only had to chase my towel once before learning my lesson.  I hope...  But really, what is the point?  You shower and by the time you walk back to the station, you're completely covered in sand.  Even worse, now, because the humidity in the showers is so high that you're now a sand magnet!  And if you're one of those silly people who cares about your skin and wants to put on sunblock or lotion or anything, forget it.  I normally use a face scrub in my morning shower.  I actually have had so much sand exfoliation that I didn't want to overdo it!  Oh yeah, and brushing your teeth is a great event.  We have no bathroom here in the station.  No running water.  No nothin' that makes life easy.  You go outside to brush & just spit in the rocks.  Well when the wind is blowing from every direction, where do you stand?  You don't want to get toothpaste all over your clothes.  They'll never be the same.  Trust me.  And if you have hair, how do you hold it out of your face so as not to get foam in it as well, while still trying to hold your toothbrush and water bottle at the same time?  Again, not an easy task.  I tried to wash my face last night.  I kept putting the soap into my hand and it was blowing away before I could get it to my face.  Sounds amusing until you're the one trying to function!  Okay, so how about the port-o-potty.  No good blog update can go posted without reference to that amazing creation.  So imagine that our wonderful cleaners come along and do their job.  It's usually pretty decent right after being cleaned but not now.  Not at all.  The walls are covered with so much dust that when the door closes behind you, about 3" worth falls from the walls onto you.  And the really cool part is that no matter what, every time you walk in, you have to clean the seat first because of the layer of sand on it.  Now imagine (seriously, do imagine this) you pull on the toilet paper roll and a cloud of sand comes flying off at you.  Think of all of the implications of that scenario.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.  
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Got it?  Yeah, it's a real winner.  
Imagine sleeping in your room, no windows, one door.  Imagine wind and sand so bad that you can literally smell the dust in your room.  An intense smell, especially for those of us with allergies and other sensitivities.  Oh, and the doors.  Boy, when a gust of wind takes a door straight out of your hand, it can catch your attention!  It's a wonder we haven't lost any fingers yet!  The uniform shirts are a really special treat as well.  Navy blue.  At least for the majority of us.  The chiefs have tan.  That makes sense.  It's the color of the sand.  Navy blue, not so much.  What a nice contrast between the visible shirt area and the part that's tucked in your pants.  Though the very good thing to this sand here is that if I were to just take my sweatshirt off and shake it out a bit, it would look clean again.  The smell of dust wouldn't go away, but appearances are everything, right?  The computer issue is a real bear as well.  Just think that if a room with a usually closed door can get that much dust inside, our dispatch center, with a door that is constantly being opened, is covered in dust on a pretty regular basis.  It's mind-boggling how much dust can pile up on the equipment in just a couple of hours, not to mention a whole day. 
So, needless to say, this has been a really interesting windy season so far.  I'd love to know what our 120 days are going to bring!  Of course if this keeps up, we won't have to worry about it.  All of the sand will have blown away by then.  Wait a minute, is that why it blows in all directions?  Just to ensure that the sand never really leaves?  I get it!


It was brought to my attention recently by my dad that it has been quite some time since I've posted on here.  I'm not quite sure why, but I just haven't been doing too much writing lately.  I've written about my last R&R but haven't finished or posted it yet.  I'll get to that soon.  Hopefully before my next one!  And Dad, thanks for reading.  That's pretty darn cool :)    


Love to you all, 
A very dusty Dana

11/24/2011 1341

Today is a perfect day.  I realize that it’s not even quite halfway over, and things could vastly change between now and the end of the day, but as of this point, it is truly perfect.  I wasn’t so sure it was going to be that way.  I woke up still sick (nothing tragic, just an irritating cold that isn’t really getting to me at all other than the simple fact that I hate being sick) and thinking that I was going to have to eat my Thanksgiving meal all by myself.  While it’s true that I have a wonderful man who eats most meals with me when he can (make that all meals when he can), he is working today and can’t make the entire crew eat at a different time just for me.  Trust me, I’d love it if he would, but I would also feel really bad for standing in the way of hungry men.  I know that’s never a good idea.  Breakfast was delightful.  The DFAC was decorated so wonderfully.  I know that the guys work there are paid wages that most of us spoiled Expats can’t even imagine, but they never cease to make me smile and inspire me to try to be more positive when I’m having a bad day.  They always have a kind word and a smile.  I love that.  And given how they typically behave toward those of us who return the smile and kind word, I have a sneaky suspicion that they really enjoyed the efforts they put into today for all of us.  The walls were covered with beautiful fall leaves.  New Styrofoam pictures were up on the walls.  Happy Thanksgiving signs all over the place.  One truly spectacular Styrofoam turkey, a cabin, a cornucopia complete with Styrofoam fruits, a few new eagles here & there… It was truly good work.  I’m hoping to sneak my cell in there later to snag a couple pictures of some of the stuff to show you all. 

I headed in to work only to have my motivation fade quickly.  Remember that whole “I’m sick” aspect of this story?  Well that helped me stay awake much of the night.  Even with Nyquil.  It was a drugged restlessness.  Not a recipe for a clear-headed day.  So it was time for my workout.  That was pretty funny all by itself.  First I thought I’d head to the gym and try to run.  Then I decided that I’d take a nap instead.  Then I decided to go for a walk.  Then that aforementioned wonderful man headed to the gym and given the fact that he’s always provided me with motivation and major encouragement, I decided I may as well aim for the first idea I had.  Gym it was.  I dropped the speed for my run, ya know, since I’m sick & all… but decided that it felt good so I went ahead and ran 3 miles instead of the 2 I originally thought I was going to do.  Awesome, huh?  Yup, definitely proud of myself.  Got back to work after a very rushed shower (running longer tends to take more time, which I don’t really have at my disposal, so it has to come from somewhere.  Don’t worry, though, I took enough of a shower that I was no longer offensive to the olfactory nerves of my coworkers) and proceeded to crash yet again.  But that wonderful man came by again and brought me chocolate, at which point I had to laugh at the comparison to Thanksgiving of last year.  I went for an early morning run that day.  It was freezing, but I did it and enjoyed it.  That same wonderful man came by shortly after my run to bring me chocolate.  Pattern?  Perhaps.  Same time next year. 

Well.  I started to hear rumors that the delicious meal of the day was lunch.  Lunch!  That meant that I’d have the company that I wanted so badly :D  It was absolutely wonderful.  The food was delicious, the company was perfect, the décor was charming, and my third crash of the day after the meal was well worth every bite too many that I took.  And it’s cloudy today.  That makes it even better.  Oh, and just when you think things can’t get any better… I got “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” first season in the mail today from Netflix!!!!!  So.  Care to venture a guess as to what I’ll be doing for the next few hours?  If you remember anything about that show (even if you don’t care to remember) today’s word of the day is “thankful”!  I have a lot to be thankful for. 

How about you guys?  What are you most thankful for today?  

10/10/2011 1745

We had some AWESOME weather a couple of days ago.  I went on a hot date to the DFAC with a stop at Green Beans on the way back "home".  On the way back from dinner, I noticed lightning in the distance.  Um, pretty!  I really enjoy lightning.  We spent close to an hour at Green Beans and sat outside so I got to keep watching it for a while.  Got back to the station and grabbed my camera and went outside to record some of it.  These pictures are screen shots from that spectacular show.  Seriously, one of the best I've seen in a really long time!  I wanted to show even more pictures, but these are close to the coolest of 'em.  

Those were all from one tiny portion of a second.  Amazing when they're shown individually, isn't it?  

Pretty gorgeous, aren't they?  I wish the quality was a little better, but they'll do.  I also apologize for the major differences in the sizes.  I was cutting out a lot of unnecessary stuff in most of them.  
I'll add more pics when I get inspired to capture stuff.  And as I get motivated.  I think that's the tougher portion of the equation!  
Loves & hugs from the lit-up desert,
D

08/02/2011 1630

Alright my dear family and friends.  It is long past update time.  Things are going good here, but definitely warming up in an impressive way.  In case you haven’t heard already, I’ve decided to stick around a while longer.  A while meaning about two more years if all goes well.  Might as well stay where you’re happy, well paid, and having fun, right?  And even if the weather is currently 122º (something I have a very hard time believing, given the fact that it feels at least 10º warmer), it’s a good place to be.  I was walking back from lunch today, thinking about the fact that I was probably sweating faster than I could drink at that exact moment in time, I realized I should tell you all the awesome story of my fairly recent sickness.  I had just gotten back to Dwyer from R&R.  I managed to stay healthy through all the travel and finally lost that control just a day or two after I got back.  It was awful.  Our clinic here, while full of very sweet & caring people, will send you home with Mucinex if you have a broken toe.  Seriously.  And I know from past experience that Mucinex doesn’t cut it for me… at all.  Not for a broken toe, not for a sinus issue, not for a cold, not for bronchitis.  NOTHING.  Get that?  Well.  I was given Mucinex.  And yet I kept getting worse.  A few days later I went back to the clinic.  It was a toasty day, as they all are this time of year.  I arrived at the clinic, escorted in by my chief (I was supposed to go armed with a form that says I’m allowed to be there, but we forgot about it so he wanted to just make sure they weren’t going to give me any problems) and we discovered that the power was out in the clinic.  It. Got. Hot.  Quickly.  Uncomfortable.  The clinic is a tent, and not a huge one at that. And there were around 7 or 8 people waiting in a room that comfortably accommodates 4.  And there was the staff on duty.  Maybe 4 or 5 of them.  And me.  And it was hot.  Have I mentioned that yet?  Well.  I got into the “room” and the medic comes in to take my temperature.  Only it won’t read.  So he tries again.  Nothing.  He tries a different machine.  Twice.  No luck.  Why might this be?  It’s not because I had an unreadable temp.  It was because the air in the clinic was far higher than anything I could have produced and it was reading the air over me.  Awesome.  You know you have it good when not even a digital thermometer can read you! 

I’ve shared port-o-potty stories before here.  It’s a subject of great interest sometimes.  Probably because it’s not something that most of us thought we’d be visiting multiple times a day for a minimum of a year.  It’s got intrigue!  Anyway, the stories of the past have been regarding the cold.  This is obviously not the right time of the year for that so instead, I’ll share the story of the not-so-cold.  Those charming little oven/boxes are cleaned twice a day.  They restock the TP and hose down the entire thing.  Thankfully not in that order, though the TP is often wet shortly after they clean.  But the fact that they clean so often is great news for those of us who like a “fresh bowl”, if you can call it that.  Only something funny happens when you take a 2’ x 2’x7’ plastic box with very few vents that’s been sitting in the sun all day and add water to the walls, the seat, the door, the ceiling... The humidity percentage reaches near-fatal levels.  Great if you can manage to either do your business with the door open or within 10 seconds.  Not as great if you’re like all of us who live here.  I have seen more people stand here in dispatch for 30 minutes complaining about the misery they’re about to experience in order to gain relief than I ever thought possible.  They’ll actually wait and try to figure out if it’s really that worth the trip.  The jokes about sweating off 5 lbs. just for a moment of relief are constant.  Only I fear it’s not all that much of a joke!  Between the weather outside and the amazing air conditioners inside, there is a major havoc being wreaked on our bodies.  And add our “pre-sudsed” water and we’re all just a giant mess.  It’s so charming.  I still can’t quite understand who first had that great idea to inhabit this place.  I don’t mean as a military installation, I mean the natives.  Who saw this arid land and decided it would be a good place to live?  Didn’t they read the National Geographic specials on Hawaii???  Eh, I suppose they didn’t.  And I suppose that getting to live in weather like this actually does give me a better appreciation for not only the people that live here (outside of this camp), but also my former life.  And the life I’ll have when I’m back to the plentiful benefits of a bathroom adjacent to my bedroom.  Meals prepared and eaten in the same building in which I live.  Running water that’s not pre-sudsed.  You think I’m kidding about that?  This water is slimy.  We know it’s not pre-sudsed… but we all prefer to think of it that way than to really understand why it’s slimy.  I’ll appreciate getting to go out when I want a diversion.  I’ll never take a tree or grass or flowers for granted.  I’m having a blast here but it’ll just be dang nice to feel human again.  It’s going to feel great! 

Speaking of diversions, a few weeks ago a Green Beans opened on this camp.  It’s a coffee shop and it’s conveniently located a very short walk away from the fire station.  I dig that.  Delicious coffee.  Mochas, cappuccinos, smoothies, etc.  It is a nice diversion.  They opened a beauty salon too.  I haven’t been in yet, but those who have gone to get their nails done have really enjoyed it.  I may have to try it out.  After all, not everybody can say they got a manicure in Afghanistan, can they? 

Alright, the temp is now up to 125.6 (yes, that .6 really seals the deal!) so I’m going to sign off and watch a good zombie movie.  I know, it has nothing to do with it, but I just can’t bear the thought of needing to head out to the port-o-potty so I’m opting for the distraction method.  One of two things will happen.  The temp will eventually start to drop and I’ll head out then, or it won’t and I’ll regret not going now.  At least it’s been a little while since they last cleaned.  Hopefully the port-o humidity level will be somewhere closer to the 1% that is outside instead of the 99% inside, post-cleaning. 

I hope you’re all doing well.  Feel free to drop me a line and give me your latest & greatest news. 

Love from sunny Afg,
Dana 

05/08/2011 1356

Okay, I've got to be honest.  I feel like a little bit of a complete and total retard now...  and I mean that in the gentlest sense of the word.  I am a 33 y/o woman and every time I see a TV, child, car, or store front, I giggle like a 5 y/o.  I don't remember what to do with such things! 
Okay, let me rewind a bit.  I've been out of touch for quite sometime.  My name is Dana.  I haven't changed.  If you're reading this, you likely know me.  It's all good.  Enough of that.
So I got to Dublin day before yesterday.  When I made it to the hotel, I was sufficiently frustrated and angry.  It took forever and a day not only to find the right bus but also to find the hotel.  But I finally made it, I'm happy to report.  My first hotel/vacation-related order of business was a shower and it was spectacular.  I think it lasted at least 30 minutes.  No shoes, no slime, no turning the water off in between sudsing and soaping.  Sheer paradise, I tell ya!  I went down to the bar and had a drink (or 4) and my first real meal.  Aaaahhhhh.... Spectacular :)  Spicy beef sandwich.  Basil.  Watercress.  Cheese.  Real cheese.  All sorts of deliciousness that I don't get in my Afghanistan paradise.  It was wonderful.  I met a local who gave me a lot of good information.  Truth be told, after watching him as he spoke, I have a sneaky suspicion that he and I might be related.  No joke.  His expressions varied between my dad's and my grandpa's.  It was bizarre to say the least.  I'm going to have to get a picture of him to show the fam.  Uncanny.  Anyway, I wanted to stay up late but could not.  I was almost falling asleep mid-sentence on Skype.  Not pretty.  So I crashed and slept for somewhere around 9 or 10 hours.  It was nice.  Yesterday wasn't too pretty either.  I was lacking motivation to do much of anything.  Breakfast was overpriced and not worth it.  I took a nap, went back down to the bar for another round of 3 Guinnesses, and then sent out to find food.  Mexican food to be exact.  Of all the places I found, that looked absolutely delicious, a burrito the size of my face was the winner. Came back and relaxed again, more movie, a bath even!  
Didn't get all the sleep I wanted to last night but I still feel vastly better today.  I swam, hit the sauna and jacuzzi, and had wine.  And more beer.  And I'm out exploring a bit.  Hit up the pub/restaurant at the end of the corner where the hotel is.  I just consumed a beer (Smithwick, which, for the record, is infinitely better on tap than from a bottle), garlic bread with cheese, and garlic fried mushrooms.  Um, yum! So this is what it's like to feel human!  I almost forgot.  
From here, I plan to head to the nearby shopping center to do some shopping and look into my tattoo. Defnitely looking forward to that.   
I just met a nice gentleman named Robin.  I do believe he's currently teasing me for being such a writer.  Yes, I'm sitting at a bar writing.  He actually just came over to ask if I'm writing about him yet.  Might as well give him a place here, right?  I realized that people are a lot nicer (the typical Ireland friendly that everybody talks about) behind closed doors than they are on the streets.  I suppose on the streets everyone is going somewhere.  In restuarants and pubs, they're just chilling, chatting, watching a game...  If they're anything like me, watching people.  Europeans are such a fascinating sort to me.  As are Brits.  And there is a very large amount of both here, which really appeals to my love of observing people.  I started off sort of slow, but I'm pretty sure I'll have a good time here.  If nothing else, I'll get to watch a HUGE amount of people.  
Alright, signing off for a bit so I can go spend money on things I don't necessarily need.  Hmm, I've sorta missed that too! 

Ooh, before I go, my pictures! 

The lightning I mentioned.  Gorgeous shot, isn't it?

And this beauty is a sandstorm coming in. The walk to breakfast that morn was NOT fun.

Our rocks when they're wet. When dry, they're all the same color.

Rain on its way.

The ditches we're supposed to find "safety" in.  We might drown first!

The two guys I traveled from Dwyer with. They kept me sane.

Real trees.  Real greenery.  Really beautiful.

Definitely not what I'm used to seeing...

05/05/2011 1835 local time, 1905 “home” time.

I’m currently sitting in Dubai airport.  The dear guys I’m with and I all got passes to go to the lounge until our flights, which are all early morning, but none of us can check in yet because our respective desks aren’t open until 8 or 9.  Oh this waiting game can get old when traveling!  So we got to KAF yesterday after a flight that actually caused a significant amount of nausea in all of us.  I don’t recall that ever happening from turbulence.  It was beyond impressive.  The bumps didn’t really bother me, but apparently the ride bothered my belly.  It was rough.  When we landed, it was just in time to watch a dust storm cross the airfield as well as encounter the rain, thunder, and lightning as we got to stand waiting to go inside.  Charming.  We all snagged rooms at the “hotel” at KAF.  At that point in time, there was nothing to complain about, but it’s still not the real shower without shoes that I’m anticipating enjoying in less than 24 hours…  

Did our checkout today, meeting yesterday, just the basics of going through the motions to be allowed to go away.  Go here, go there, wait forever in between… It’s drama, I tell you!  Nothing can be simple with this company, I fear.  But we’ve made it this far.  That’s a good start.  I had two beers on the flight.  That was a major perk.  I contemplated not having them, waiting until I got the good stuff in the lounge, but as they got closer and closer, I decided I may as well.  Took a picture of the second.  I’ll introduce you as soon as I get to the hotel and have connection and can unpack all of my cords & chargers and such.  At any rate, that was a good call.  I’ll have gotten them completely out of my system by the time I get to the lounge.  Oh but they were spectacular.  Heinekens.  Twins.   I’ll never forget their faces…  

Anyway, I just wanted to provide a bit of an update.  I miss my “home”.  It is very possible that I may be the only person in that station that did not look forward to leaving.  I’m okay with that.  I’ll also probably be the only one not dreading going back from R&R.  I’m sure I’ll have a good time… and I’ll be here to tell you all about it.  

Ooh, while I’m thinking about it, I’ve been meaning to write a blog with updates on our weather as of late.  I know I complained bitterly about the cold (which, incidentally, was completely tolerable and I was wise enough to enjoy it while it lasted…) but I haven’t updated on anything since then.  The rains were amazing.  I’ve got pictures of lightning, flood waters, some dust storms, all the good stuff we get.  And when I left, it was 120.  Aah, spring.  Actually we hit 100 the first week of March.  It cooled off again for a bit, but I’m fairly certain that the summer is here to stay for another few months.  So time to put away the warm clothes and bring out the baby wipes and twice-daily slime showers.  Woo-hoo!   It’s a fun experience.  I’m glad that I’m doing it.  Glad that I have a lot to enjoy.