Alright my dear family and friends. It is long past update time. Things are going good here, but definitely warming up in an impressive way. In case you haven’t heard already, I’ve decided to stick around a while longer. A while meaning about two more years if all goes well. Might as well stay where you’re happy, well paid, and having fun, right? And even if the weather is currently 122º (something I have a very hard time believing, given the fact that it feels at least 10º warmer), it’s a good place to be. I was walking back from lunch today, thinking about the fact that I was probably sweating faster than I could drink at that exact moment in time, I realized I should tell you all the awesome story of my fairly recent sickness. I had just gotten back to Dwyer from R&R. I managed to stay healthy through all the travel and finally lost that control just a day or two after I got back. It was awful. Our clinic here, while full of very sweet & caring people, will send you home with Mucinex if you have a broken toe. Seriously. And I know from past experience that Mucinex doesn’t cut it for me… at all. Not for a broken toe, not for a sinus issue, not for a cold, not for bronchitis. NOTHING. Get that? Well. I was given Mucinex. And yet I kept getting worse. A few days later I went back to the clinic. It was a toasty day, as they all are this time of year. I arrived at the clinic, escorted in by my chief (I was supposed to go armed with a form that says I’m allowed to be there, but we forgot about it so he wanted to just make sure they weren’t going to give me any problems) and we discovered that the power was out in the clinic. It. Got. Hot. Quickly. Uncomfortable. The clinic is a tent, and not a huge one at that. And there were around 7 or 8 people waiting in a room that comfortably accommodates 4. And there was the staff on duty. Maybe 4 or 5 of them. And me. And it was hot. Have I mentioned that yet? Well. I got into the “room” and the medic comes in to take my temperature. Only it won’t read. So he tries again. Nothing. He tries a different machine. Twice. No luck. Why might this be? It’s not because I had an unreadable temp. It was because the air in the clinic was far higher than anything I could have produced and it was reading the air over me. Awesome. You know you have it good when not even a digital thermometer can read you!
I’ve shared port-o-potty stories before here. It’s a subject of great interest sometimes. Probably because it’s not something that most of us thought we’d be visiting multiple times a day for a minimum of a year. It’s got intrigue! Anyway, the stories of the past have been regarding the cold. This is obviously not the right time of the year for that so instead, I’ll share the story of the not-so-cold. Those charming little oven/boxes are cleaned twice a day. They restock the TP and hose down the entire thing. Thankfully not in that order, though the TP is often wet shortly after they clean. But the fact that they clean so often is great news for those of us who like a “fresh bowl”, if you can call it that. Only something funny happens when you take a 2’ x 2’x7’ plastic box with very few vents that’s been sitting in the sun all day and add water to the walls, the seat, the door, the ceiling... The humidity percentage reaches near-fatal levels. Great if you can manage to either do your business with the door open or within 10 seconds. Not as great if you’re like all of us who live here. I have seen more people stand here in dispatch for 30 minutes complaining about the misery they’re about to experience in order to gain relief than I ever thought possible. They’ll actually wait and try to figure out if it’s really that worth the trip. The jokes about sweating off 5 lbs. just for a moment of relief are constant. Only I fear it’s not all that much of a joke! Between the weather outside and the amazing air conditioners inside, there is a major havoc being wreaked on our bodies. And add our “pre-sudsed” water and we’re all just a giant mess. It’s so charming. I still can’t quite understand who first had that great idea to inhabit this place. I don’t mean as a military installation, I mean the natives. Who saw this arid land and decided it would be a good place to live? Didn’t they read the National Geographic specials on Hawaii??? Eh, I suppose they didn’t. And I suppose that getting to live in weather like this actually does give me a better appreciation for not only the people that live here (outside of this camp), but also my former life. And the life I’ll have when I’m back to the plentiful benefits of a bathroom adjacent to my bedroom. Meals prepared and eaten in the same building in which I live. Running water that’s not pre-sudsed. You think I’m kidding about that? This water is slimy. We know it’s not pre-sudsed… but we all prefer to think of it that way than to really understand why it’s slimy. I’ll appreciate getting to go out when I want a diversion. I’ll never take a tree or grass or flowers for granted. I’m having a blast here but it’ll just be dang nice to feel human again. It’s going to feel great!
Speaking of diversions, a few weeks ago a Green Beans opened on this camp. It’s a coffee shop and it’s conveniently located a very short walk away from the fire station. I dig that. Delicious coffee. Mochas, cappuccinos, smoothies, etc. It is a nice diversion. They opened a beauty salon too. I haven’t been in yet, but those who have gone to get their nails done have really enjoyed it. I may have to try it out. After all, not everybody can say they got a manicure in Afghanistan, can they?
Alright, the temp is now up to 125.6 (yes, that .6 really seals the deal!) so I’m going to sign off and watch a good zombie movie. I know, it has nothing to do with it, but I just can’t bear the thought of needing to head out to the port-o-potty so I’m opting for the distraction method. One of two things will happen. The temp will eventually start to drop and I’ll head out then, or it won’t and I’ll regret not going now. At least it’s been a little while since they last cleaned. Hopefully the port-o humidity level will be somewhere closer to the 1% that is outside instead of the 99% inside, post-cleaning.
I hope you’re all doing well. Feel free to drop me a line and give me your latest & greatest news.
Love from sunny Afg,
Dana
Dana
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